Tuesday, June 06, 2017

Is it just me ?

When we were kids, like around 6,7 years old, we were happy. Not only we were happy, but we were also satisfied with whatever we had. No matter if it's just a pencil or a maybe a colouring book, we were grateful. Not to mention when we were at the supermarket and all we wanted was probably chocolates, snacks, ice creams and maybe soda. To be extremely honest with you, I wish I was a child again. It's not like I'm very old and have ten children waiting to get married, but fairly I would say that I miss my childhood.

If you're still reading this despite the fact that my intro is damn freaking boring and not making a single sense, I would like to ask you to close your eyes and remember one ugly kid or an ugly teacher when you were in your pre-school and primary school. I can actually say, I don't remember anyone that was ugly or any teacher that was ugly or hot, handsome and stuff. It's because when we were kids, we were friends with people because we like their personality or either we shared the same interests as them. I can confirm that most of us, chose our friends during primary school and pre-school based on what made us 'click' together, and in my case, I was friends with everyone that can actually talk English because I talk English at home. Not to throw shade at my mother tongue language, but I started talking Tamil when I was around 13. I understood Tamil, but I was afraid of talking because I was not fluent and I'm scared my fellow Indian friends were gonna be like da ef bro. Now, I can talk Tamil quite fluently, also English and Malay. I can understand 4/5 languages so don't freak out if I know what you're talking haha.

So, back to the whole childhood thing. Remember when we were growing up, we wanted things because we wanted it to make our own stupid self happy. Tell me, when you were small, you bought that ice cream or shoes or toys for what? We bought it because we wanted it because we were stupid and love wasting money, we wanted to have it solely for our self. I know when I was small, I was obsessed with racing cars, dinosaurs, animals ( I still have them, I don't know what to do with them now, I told you, our choices weren't that smart last time ) and I was always getting good grades because then only I can actually expand my toy empire shit hahaha ( okay, I was a nerd ). Regardless of what we did when we were small, we did it to make ourselves happy.

Now, I'm gonna move on to a more serious thing, yes, I'm gonna talk about race and skin colour. When we were kids, like we had friends right ( like if you didn't have friends, just chill the ef out because you're awesome anyways ) , we had friends from various kind of backgrounds, race and skin colour. I know some of you all went to primary schools that only had one type of race and I have nothing to say but you missed out all the fun honestly. Okay, I went to a national school , also known as a 'sekolah kebangsaan' and we had like 3-4 types of races in that school and it was a whole lot of fun. I still remember in my class during standard 6, there were like 44 of us and it consists of Malays, Indians, Siamese and we were literally so close. At that time, you can actually see that there was no boundaries between us even though we vary in race and skin colour. Definitely we were close friends and I still remember us sharing food and just being genuine friends. 

I'm almost 20, it means I might be 18 or 19 *wink* It also means I'm done with school and still in school *wink* again. So, I'm still in school and you might be thinking da ef is this old hag doing in school, he should be in matriculation or foundation or concealer or lip liners or eye liners or kylie lip kit *not a promo*. Well guess what, my brain doesn't know whats the difference of protons and neutrons and it's also because I ef-ed up my addmaths like hello X, who's the Y now ? okay it's still you and it doesn't matter because I'm finally done with you guys hahaha , yes I'm talking to you - phy, chem, logy and add-sheeran . Moving on, I think that as we grew up, we actually changed and some of it is the bad kind of change and it's actually not that good.

I'm actually talking about this based on things that happened to me and things that I experienced so I'm not generalizing anyone so don't bring that whole 'he's talking bad about me' shit here because I'm talking about things as open as I can and if you can't accept it, I suggest you click the X on the tab and browse something else and in fact, before doing that just click refresh, because you know I'll just have more pageviews *wink* (third one damn it)  

So, when we were in high school, things changed, like a lot. I just realized that people started choosing their friends based on good looks and good grades, overall people was just choosing people. Like, all of a sudden The Voice audition is happening, four chairs turn around and 4 people shouting 'pick me' and honestly, it's so stupid. I'm a blessed to actually have friends like the people in my drama team (missing you guys) , and also my anthe gang (you guys too) and a few more. It's because during high school, people tend to be friends with people that are more good looking, fairer and popular because they wanted to feel cool or idk. I still remember there was this one time, I was at an assembly and a girl got an award for representing the school in a sport event and the crowd was cheering. The moment she went on stage, a few boys (juniors) standing in front of me said 'why are we clapping for her she's black and fat' and at that time, I was like da ef. I imagined instantly like what if I'm on stage, receiving anything or becoming the emcee, like what are these people gonna say to me. I was also like bruh, that girl just won an award, you guys are just standing here , judging her by her looks and skin colour. Stupid? Absolutely.

 There's a few people in my class, as I could recall them as racists, that made me feel like I should drive a truck and hit them. So, as usual, we were learning geography in class one day, and the teacher asked where do black people come from? referring the term 'black' as in 'africans' and  a group of girls like 4-5 people ( the racist ones ) yelled out 'India, because Indians are black' and literally I was offended because they clearly know there's Indians in my class . The teacher handled the whole thing professionally by saying that they were wrong and it was Africa and Indians are brown. Then, a few weeks later, these same group of people were waiting by the road side after school. My sister came to fetch me and they were like looking at me and my sister. The very next day, they came to me and said 'your sister is fair, your mum is Chinese or what? ' and I was like ' Do you think all Indians are dark' . Like honestly, it boggles my mind that these people watch Bollywood movies and are still dumb as ef. Yes, Kareena Kapoor, Aishwarya Rai, Priyanka Chopra, Katrina Kaif, Ranbir Kapoor, Varun Dhawan are all Indians and yes, fair Indians do exists and yes again we vary in skin colours. Just stop generalizing stuffs. Just to put this out there, do you guys know that Kpop stars get melanin reduction surgeries and go for bleaching to whiten their skin? yes, they are Korean and yes, not all Koreans look like the ones we see on tv with their white , flawless skin ,and  sharp features. So stop being a a racist person and just accept every type of skin colour because we are all beautiful in our own weird way haha. Also yes, white people go tanning to become dark so I guess we should just chill the ef out hahaha.

Last but not least, I feel that since we grew up, we are actually being spoiled just because of social media. It has became a norm that everyone should use fancy iphones and go to expensive places just to create a fake Instagram feed to look great. It's not wrong but it's just that nowadays we care so much about things that don't actually matter. I know this is actually easier to be said than done because we all are actually so into social media , including myself, like I'm always scrolling for no apparent reason and forcing myself to take great pictures hahaha. Well, I guess this whole social media thing is already like a lifeline for everyone. I'm just gonna share this with you guys, like I don't use my phone when I'm out with my friends. Like yes, we take selfies and stupid videos but then I don't actually use my phone to check Instagram or Twitter because I feel like I should enjoy the moment and actually have a great time with my friends so I guess that's a good thing to do. Also, try to actually sink in reality than just being on social media 24/7 , like don't be that person that's on Instagram double-tapping your cousin's photo when your cousin is actually sitting in front of you.

So, that's all I have for you guys after months and months of not updating due to exams, coursework and extreme stress. I know I started off with the whole idea of being kids then actually ranting about how the society changes when we grow up and I know it might have been a bit boring because I always like to write about funny things ( stop thinking you're Ellen and stfu dear self ) . I had to write this because I feel like this thing has to be said somewhere so I chose to say it here, on my blog because I feel that my readers are usually my really close friends that are very open minded. 

I don't know whether I should post this or not, but then I think I should because I wrote this for 2 hours straight and my leg is hurting. 

Anyways, I didn't update my blog since last year wow I'm dumb hahaha and I still get about 90+ page views a month which is a great thing because I know my friends are constantly refreshing to see if I update anything cc: +Shafiqah Amira . Thanks to all my other friends who constantly come hear as well to actually see whether I update or not. I'm so sorry because I don't have time and I don't actually feel like updating sometimes so that's it I guess. 

Finally, I would like to say that I know probably this update is a bit boring and more towards ranting than story telling but I guess I should actually be real and avoid the whole 'what if people get butthurt' thing because I feel we should actually respect one another and be kind and not discriminate people based on their race and skin colour. Thta's all I guess, I should stop writing rn but then I feel like typing some more, so shall we move on to the possibly next and last paragraph.

I would also like to say that I haven't change the theme and header of my blog because I don't know how the ef to do it. Like I have no idea how people make their blog look super dope, like my blog looks dumb as f so anyways hope you had fun reading and have a great week , bye!

ps; I didn't check my grammar or for typos after writing this so just ignore any grammatical errors and typos *wink*

pps; I might not post this , but I did